diapers, budgets & paint

stay-at-home mommy by day
program manager by night
children's painter somewhere in between

the dirty side of parenthood

warning: this post is dirrrty. and i don't mean in the christina aguilera way.

i'm a pretty clean person. blair would probably say i have ocd when it comes to throwing things away; the sunday newspaper is lucky to have survived past noon each week, and god help the poor piles of paper/mail/stuff on our dining room table. (i recently realized that i'm married to PileMaker Pro - that's right, the human paper and oddities collector/stacker - but i digress...) before we got a dog, i couldn't even imagine what it would be like to clean up poop from our lawn, half-digested kibble from our bedroom floor at 3am, and other unmentionable liquids from our home (she's licking where?!). but once we got taylor ("taytay" to emmy), it was amazing how easily we could clean up all of her trespasses and accidents. even when she ripped open a 20-pound bag of rice all over our dining room. twice. and tried to eat batteries. and successfully opened and ate from two bottles of vitamins. (childproof, my tush!)

anyway, i think parenthood is very similar and yesterday was my (first) big test. sure, emmy's peed on us - what kid hasn't? and yes, i've caught her throwing up in my hands before. but yesterday was special. she was dealing with a beastly stomach flu and i was starting to come down with the symptoms myself. as soon as she told me she'd gone "puuu puu", i went to change her diaper. it was the most bizarre shade of beige i'd ever seen, thick and wet and practically overflowing her poor kirkland's diaper (yeah, we're economical!). then she started to moan and cry - dumb mommy, you should have known. you should have closed the diaper. you should have hidden behind the coffee table. you should have run. but alas, dumb mommy was literally showered by the uncontrollable fire hose of her poor baby's horrible flu-inspired poo. oh yes, i was sprayed from shirt to pants to socks. and somehow, i managed to remain composed as i finished changing her (not a drop on em, thankfully!), carefully got us both upstairs, changed, and gingerly carried the ruined clothes downstairs to the laundry room, all while other people were in the house. shortly thereafter, the same stomach flu reared it's ugly head in me. *sigh* amazingly, emmy was conveniently napping while i embraced my porcelain friend. your timing is so good, little one - i totally owe you a mango smoothie when all this is over.

part of me would love to keep us both at home for the duration of the winter months. when i called my pediatrician help line yesterday morning, they were swamped with similar calls. gotta love winter vomiting disease, rotavirus, norovirus and all of their evil friends! i soooo look forward to the day when emmy goes somewhere (playgroup, store, anywhere!) and chooses NOT to put everything in her mouth. until then, i'm keeping my fingers crossed that we survive the winter. (and i'll be gripping my purell hand sanitizer and a box of wipes in the other hand.)


2 Responses to “the dirty side of parenthood”

  1. # Anonymous Bethany

    Oh, why did I not heed your warning? That is gross gross GROSS! I am impressed that you remained so composed.

    Hope you feel better!  

  2. # Anonymous Superha

    You're a brave woman. Hey, my husband is Mr. Pile Master, too. Piles, piles, everywhere!!! :)  

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